I wrote a post almost a year ago now entitled “I Do Not Consent,” and I noticed it was getting a lot of traffic (for my blog, anyway!) the past few days. As I reread the post, I felt as though it needed to address some additional issues in order to give a complete picture of my views. Some comments I received also confirmed this need. I feel that further exploration of the topic of non-consent is an important pursuit.
If you haven’t read the original post, you can go ahead and read it here first so that we’re on the same page before continuing. Okay, here we go…
1) Non-consent is a serious decision.
I did say this in my original blog, However, it appeared as though some readers missed it, so I quote: “I will say… that this phrase should probably not be taken lightly. Weigh your caregiver’s experience against your own intuition. Is your baby still ok? Are you still ok? Find out whether the caregiver is recommending a procedure out of medical necessity, or because of convenience or a hospital policy.”
I am not– I repeat- I am not recommending anyone deny a procedure that is truly medically necessary for themselves or their baby. This is utter foolishness. I am also not recommending that you go into the hospital (or at your home) throwing this phrase around at the drop of a hat. This probably will not be helpful to your cause. This leads me to my next point…
2) Communication is key!
I am not much for fighting during a birth. I am not suggesting that you argue with your care provider. Keep an open line of communication with your doctor or midwife before and during the birth. Ask for things politely. Discuss your preferences first. If you come to a disagreement, then you can can implement my suggestion from my previous post:
“You can always say, ‘Wait. I do not consent yet.’ Go on to ask these four questions:
1) Is this an emergency? (If no, move on.)
2) What are the benefits of this procedure?
3) What are the risks of this procedure?
4) What happens if we do nothing?”
If you disagree with a procedure, talk through your options with the doctor or midwife (provided that #1 is answered with a no). Goodness, you could even compromise if you’re both comfortable with it! Even non-consent to an unnecessary procedure, however, doesn’t have to be rude.
3) Consider your relationship with your care provider early on.
Please do not go into a birthing situation planning on being “up-in-arms” about everything. If you think all OBs are surgical monsters who don’t know how to let a woman labor, then why did you sign up for their care? If you think your home birth midwife is full of fluff and incompetent, why are you paying her to attend your birth?
In most cases (with some well-acknowledged exceptions), you chose your care provider. Don’t plan on not trusting them from the start. If every appointment you are thinking how much your midwife makes you mad or uncomfortable, then you should switch providers.
As one reader commented, “You should never discount your providers education, training and experience. There are times during birth when a caregiver must make life and death decisions and may not have time to offer a 30 min. consult on the pro’s/con’s of their decisions. I am not saying that there will be an emergency in every situation, however, If you do not trust your provider and their judgement to do what is best for you and your baby, you should find a different one! Yes, be well informed. Ask lots of questions PRIOR to the birthing room when there is time to go over all the nuts and buts of why things are done a certain way – but waiting to be informed until you are in the middle of your birth is…well, negligent on your part.”
Ideally, you should choose a provider who respects your preferences as much as is possible, AND whose expertise and training you can respect in situations that you are unsure of. However, less-than ideal situations sometimes can come up in the company of an on-call doctor, or a nurse, or with the midwife’s assistant (or what have you!), no matter how well-prepared you are. In this case, non-consent should still be considered a reasonable option.
4) Don’t leave the hospital in the middle of a c-section.
Yes, I know I’m being silly. When I wrote in my original post that it’s never too late to switch care providers or birth sites, I guess there was an actual limit to that. Pushing and surgery are probably cutting it pretty close. However, I have heard of many women who have requested new providers, left their home birth, or traveled to a different hospital in order to find the respect, courteousness, and medical sensibility they lacked in the first place.
4) Women need to have the option of non-consent.
Women still need to have the option of non-consent. Why?
- Because sometimes there really are flat-out medically unnecessary procedures being performed out of habit, preference, liability, or policy. I’m not saying it’s happening all the time or that this is the primary motivation for most care providers. I’m just saying it happens sometimes, and it shouldn’t.
- Because even for the most well-prepared mom, unpleasant surprises can arise during labor. Sometimes its from an on-call staff member that she just didn’t have time to talk to before the birth.
- Because sometimes there are situations that are just plain assault. Like the mother whose doctor cut an episiotomy “just to teach her a lesson.” Or the two doctors who ripped a mothers perineum with their hands when she asked them not to cut her. Or the midwife who emotionally abuses her patient by scolding her for not handling pain. No woman should have to feel that she should sit through something like this for the sake of being a “good patient.” If we don’t allow women the right to stand up for themselves at this point, then when will we?
I felt that expansion and clarification of “I Do Not Consent” was necessary, especially if you are not a regular reader who understands my broader views on birth and providers. I hope that my list of “qualifiers” wasn’t too long, and I hope that it was clear. Please feel free to ask questions/give input in the comment section. I’ll summarize with a reply I wrote to a commenter on my original post. Thanks for reading, as always. 🙂
“Birth should ideally be a partnership between birthing mother and caregiver. Only when the mother is being coerced or attacked for non-medical reasons should refusal be resorted to. I am sorry this didn’t come across more clearly in [my original] article… I don’t want to encourage recklessness. But I do firmly stand behind the protection of a woman’s intelligence and dignity during birth, and that means that she has to still have her rights in the birthing room.”
*Not to be taken as medical advice.